Shifted focus

Lately, I have been focused on some other things than fibre crafting. I don’t have room in my head for too many “projects” (in the broadest sense of the word) simultaneously, and usually, there are, I think, five slots available in my day-to-day life. One of those is taken up by work, and one by stuff around the house, so I have three slots left, depending on how busy work is. If it’s hectic and there’s a lot of work-related stress, work occupies two of my slots.

In July, work was stressful. We’re understaffed, and my one colleague was on holiday for four weeks. I was responsible for keeping things running. I did still have space to paint on my iPad, to go jogging, and to do some housework/cooking. But that was about it. The five slots were full. No spinning, no photography, no knitting, no socializing.

In August, work was less hectic, but there was a major heatwave taking its toll. After the heatwave, I went to the vet with Freya for a checkup, and she had lost a lot of weight and her kidney values had deteriorated. The vet advised giving her an IV for a day to see if that would help. Freya had not been feeling well, I noticed that, so we went ahead and brought her in for a “spa day”, which of course she hated. But it did help, she obviously felt better afterwards when she was back home. She is more active and present, and she seems happy. She is still eating too little, though. Encountering her mortality like that (for a while I was afraid that we would have to make that dreaded final decision within weeks) really hit me hard. I was emotionally fragile and felt quite exhausted. My slots were full and then some. I managed to paint a bit, but that was about it. I could not focus on work very well either.

In the middle of August my husband and I were discussing taking a holiday, which we usually have at the beginning of October. Then it struck me: we had been wanting to move for years now, and now that we were working from home most of the time, we could probably move more easily. Working from home here or in another city, what difference would it make? And once we would be in the new house, we could think about next steps. It sounded quite tempting, so I made an account on the website of an estate agent in Amersfoort (the city we want to move to), and we didn’t plan that holiday just yet. Ha, as if I didn’t have enough on my plate yet. But hey.

And within a week, we were invited to go look at a rental house or three. They were all in the same neighbourhood, basically the same house, just in different locations. And the first one we saw was The One. It was a family house with a front and back garden. There was no road, just a footpath in front of it, and water, and greenery. The house itself had three floors and twice as much space as we have in our current apartment. We fell in love. But it wasn’t ours yet.

We requested an option on the house and the waiting started. We were anxious and didn’t dare to dream but did so anyway. I made a mock-up of how we would arrange our furniture in it. I claimed the attic for my arts & crafts stuff. And then, finally, we got word that we got the option, and that our contact person was actually already creating the contract. We accepted the option, and we will get the contract soon. We have an appointment to pick up the keys to our new place on September 30th! So our holiday this October will be filled with painting walls and laying laminate flooring, and then moving. After 22 years in Den Haag, I’m finally leaving.

All these major events (busy at work: 2 slots. Freya’s health not great: 2 slots. Moving: 2 slots) cause that I have shifted my focus in a major way. Most of the time, I’m at 5/5 or 6/5 slots now (which is unhealthy – I get physical complaints). Yes, I still try to paint regularly on my iPad to unwind, but even spinning is not coming naturally at the moment. Doing housework is hard. Getting myself to cook, to take care of myself, is hard. I’m glad that I have a few self care routines solidly in place so it’s not that much of an effort to meditate, for example. Setting these up a long time ago is paying off. But jogging is still too hard, and socializing is too, even though I love it. Chatting on WhatsApp is about all I can manage, and it sometimes takes me days to respond. Fortunately, my friends are quite understanding, which I’m grateful for.

So, even though the move is one of the best things to happen to us in years, it’s taking up a lot of my energy, and I am trying to allow myself to let go of some of my beloved pastimes like photography, knitting, and making music for the moment. I will get back to them once things have calmed down a little. As well as to this blog. I will try and give you an update once in a while, but it might take some time until I will post fibre-related projects again. But I definitely will, and I hope that coming back to them after a little hiatus will also offer me some new inspiration. For now, I’m happy and motivated, just focused differently.

For now, I will share with you the digital paintings that I have made since my previous post. I have been into painting moody landscapes with digital oil paint, lately. I wonder why…