In the midst of winter

It has been a year… I will tell you more about it at some point, but suffice it to say that I’ve been fighting PMDD, and that things are finally looking up. I haven’t had much energy and focus to do stuff, but… recently, things have been starting to improve, at last.

All through the year, I’ve been trying to keep some creative things going at least. My go-to projects involved painting – you can make art as small or large, as detailed or vague as you want. My focus has improved, lately, and at the beginning of December, I was trying to get into the mood of the winter season. Of course, there’s plenty of Christmas material, but the disadvantage, to me, is, that it’s all religious. I missed seasonal works that matched my own outlook on winter. So… I decided to make something myself.

It all started with a painting. That painting inspired a poem. I have written a lot of poetry this year, which is new for me, and most of it was pretty bleak. This poem had to embody something else. Reflection, acceptance, hope. The longest night of the year is an excellent time for that.

As I was writing, a musical theme came to me. It was simple. Just a back and forth between two chords, with a descending scale in the melody. It seemed to be at the core of what I was writing, so then I knew that this poem had to become a song, and that the theme should be in there.

I worked on it for almost two weeks. And now it’s done. At least for now. I created a recording using virtual instruments – it would be great to play it on real instruments, but this will have to do. So… without further ado, here it is.

In the midst of winter

In the midst of winter,
In the darkest night,
The snowflakes are falling.
Quietly burying what has been.
Laying to rest the worries,
The feelings, the changes,
Scattered along my path,
Under a soft, gentle blanket.

The stars in the sky are countless.
Sparkles of life, of possibilities,
Glimmering, beckoning.
I sit and look.
The path I’ve taken,
For better or for worse,
Is behind me now,
A memory that I carry along.

Looking back,
The remnants of my past life
Stick out of the snow.
A ragtag collection of weal and woe,
Moulding me into who I am right now,
Different, because of it.
Different, despite it.
Rough edges slowly disappear under the snow.

As I think about what has been,
A silver gleam appears at the horizon.
Thin, but bright, illuminating the snow.
It pulls my attention away from the past.
I look at the untouched snow ahead.
No path is visible.
Again, I have been given the chance
To create my own.

As I get up,
Stiff and rigid from the cold,
The soft, purple glow that precedes the sun
Bathes the landscape in soft hues of lilac.
Until, finally, the golden sun peeks over the horizon,
And warms up my heart,
Preparing it for the journey ahead
Into the unknown.

There will be storms,
There will be sunshine.
Anything can happen.
And every day, I can start afresh.
There is still more I can add to this world,
Even if it’s only by listening,
By noticing, by witnessing,
By simply being me.

And here is the song: